Motherless in the Mother City

So about two weeks ago today I was in Cape Town. It was my first trip to South Africa’s so called Mother City. It certainly has more of the motherly qualities that Jo’burg lacks. I mean, I love Jo’burg, but Cape Town was like a warm hug compared to Jo’burg’s cold disinterest in its kids.

I was feeling trendy, so I spent spare minutes on the trip on mobile twitter, sending out little bits of random information. Looking back on the content now, it all seems a bit weird. I’m going to try and reconstruct the trip here using any relevant tweets.

there’s something on the wing. Some Thing. no, seriously, I’m sitting at the wing.

I was late for my planned flight by a few minutes, so I booked onto the next available one and boarded. This was only the second time I’ve ever even been on a airplane, and I barely remember the first time (from Durban to Jo’burg back in my prepubescent years). As my pilot quit updating us on the rugby score and prepared us all for descent, the view from the window reminded me of the Lord of the Rings. Boring and mountainous. Then everything just got flat and stayed that way, and I found I couldn’t tell if I was looking at houses, shantytowns, parked cars or scrap yards.

Cape Town smells wet. Really, really wet.

Dinner with a friend’s friend’s parents and grandparents in a city I’ve never been to. yay?

Cape Town better live up to the hype of last night. My god, Taxi Violence was awesome. And it was the best Uncut gig ever.

After dinner I went to The Assembly. I don’t think I’ve ever been to a gig where the sound was that good. Three good bands and it cost me nothing to get in. Taxi Violence was amazing. The Uncut were the best they’ve ever been (and they were awesome). The Ragdolls were fantastic. I met and hung out with some cool people, but this night worked so well for me because, despite it being a foreign city to me, I had my friends there. Mark, Tom, Jake and Matt; good on ya, boys. Keep rocking the dirty funk ‘n’ roll.

Just went sailing for the 1st time. Highly overrated. And puke-inducing. Almost.

My first ever trip sailing, on a yacht, and it was… kinda boring. I’m absolutely 100% certain that it would be an amazing experience if I were doing it with my closest friends and a general group of fun-loving drunkards. As it stands, it was just a bit too quiet and awkward doing it with people I had only met once before. Nadia made it bearable, but then I started to feel sick (probably more because of the boredom than the bobbing waves, but yeah). I didn’t throw up, but the gurgling feeling in my gut distracted me from the quiet beauty of the ocean. Dang.

And so begins the rain in Cape Town. How pleasant.
As my mother had informed me via phonage, the rain was a’coming, and it wasted no time in appearing once the sailing trip was over. The day had been grey anyway.

Long Street, here I come.
My first trip to Long Street, which my only familiarity with came from the South African Monopoly board. I hate Monopoly, because it’s about as exciting as queasy sailing with old people, but if I ever play again, Long Street is mine. Fantastic place to hang out, so we did, all day. Met up with Nadia’s friend Susan, her boyfriend and his mates. Which led to…

Carribean food in the Cape. With Afrikaans people. And there’s a dreaded guy in here. And…Che Guevera?!

…which in turn caused me to yell…

F-ck! I can’t take this anymore.

Ok. This night has taken a turn for the better. These are smart women.
Susan later proved to be a kindred spirit and I enjoyed her company thoroughly. I’m an impatient type, so I realized I’d been harsh earlier.

Having drinks with @NadiaOnTik, her friend Eden and Eden’s boyfriend… of the corn.

Sick in Cape Town, but we’re cooking pasta!

Going to explore the city today with half of @theuncut and half of my sanity. On foot.
TheNeighborhood on Long Street has a great vibe aaannd crappy serviceNo, seriously, it’s sunny again – I’m surprised they don’t lynch climatologists daily out here.

The weather in Cape Town changes with such frequency that I’m beginning to wonder what weathermen get paid to lie here.

Nuff Said.

RT @BrianReed Also from the internet: “Did you hear? The Jackson 5 are offering a 20% discount on their reunion!”

#whatwereYoudoingwhenMJdied? I was getting comfy with @NadiaOnTik and getting drunk-dialed by my boy Devlin.

At 1:15 AM, my good friend Devlin called me to inform me that Michael Jackson was dead. Enough’s been said worldwide about this, but yeah, that sucked.

Apparently the line my Jo’burg friends are using is “how do you feel about the end of an era?” Hilarious! #MichaelJackson

Yeah, that actually happened. I got a call in the morning from Santhan, asking me that, then an sms from Kelly, asking me the same thing. And on it went all day, across the internet. “How do you feel about the end of an era?”
Going to see Fokof @ Mercury. This should be effing suh-weet.

It was.

Jeezus. Fokof rocks like no one. At this rate, I want to suck Van Coke’s kok

I typed it, but I didn’t mean it. I swear.

No more tweets from bars. I vote yes.

And so I stopped. I think.
The day is old but we’re attempting to get ready to visit the Kirstenbosch Gardens. Pot anyone?

Those gardens were beautiful. Really, truly beautiful. The pseudo-picnic we had there was worth it.

Kalk Bay is awesome. And this blonde store clerk is much the hotness.

Maybe I imagined it, or maybe she was totally checking me out. I dunno. I’ll never know. And neither will you, so suck it.

Cape to Cuba is understaffed and they play terrible music. But… yeah, ginger.

There was ginger in whatever it was I was drinking. The poor confused bartender tried his best to manage about 18 customers while his associates walked by him, pretending to work. One of the them was even smoking a hubbly with one of the patrons while he mixed up orders and fumbled with glasses. It was like watching a goofier Tom Cruise in Cocktail.\

Riding back to Claremont in an awesome Deathcab.

After sundown in Simonstown, we made our way back to Claremont in a shabby cabbie that rattled as it swerved along the mountain roads. It was awesome.

It’s fantastically beautiful and warm out today. And it’s my last full day here.

Cape Town’s airport sucks but… Homeward Bound!

One Response to “Motherless in the Mother City”
  1. Ivan says:

    Dude. Write a book. Just like this.NOW.

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