This Modern Love Breaks Me

In 1993, Haddaway released a song which asked the question “What is love?”, following the question immediately with the statement “Baby don’t hurt me”. While mentioning the song may simply revive upsetting memories of the nineties dance scene for some, it makes one wonder if Haddaway wasn’t maybe onto something with his lyrics? I mean, he seems just as confused by the concept of love as the rest of us, and yet he’s able to make an impassioned appeal after, because, like us, Haddaway knows love hurts.

But does it really hurt, or did we just make that part up?

“Love isn’t an emotion, it’s an abstract construct mammals assign to a biological imperative they don’t fully understand.” – Brian K. Vaughan (Y: The Last Man)

Humanity has a knack for definitions. We like understanding every aspect of what we do, how we feel, and why we are the way we are. Animals, as far as we can perceive, are less interested in this sort of thing. Humans, though, like accounting for events; whether it’s early Germanic tribes explaining thunderstorms with mythology, or five-year-olds choosing to believe that their Christmas presents come from a dead German in a Coca-Cola suit. In our search for definition we construct large box-shaped towers around ourselves, with scaffolding made from words and understandings. It is this sort of thing, then, that sees us constantly searching for definitions for love.

The point of the rant about definitions, really, is that we need to start questioning what we think we know about the world. Sometimes what society has chosen to accept as truth is just something we’ve lied into being. You know, they say when you tell a lie enough you start believe it’s the truth? That’s pretty much what we’re doing with love. We’ve so inextricably tied this emotion/imperative/abstract to our ideas of romance that we’ve commercialized our own brain patterns for mass consumption. Ask yourself: Why does sex have to relate to love? Who says there should be a fabled ‘signal’ or ‘first move’ to kick a relationship off? Was it every really love if it ended? These are all things we need to consider, or else we’re bound to naively repeat the same mistakes we’ve learnt to make from Gene Kelly and Cary Bates down to whoever the latest romantic leads are.

3 Responses to “This Modern Love Breaks Me”
  1. Hello I Hate You says:

    Maybe love is when you can pee in front of each other??

  2. Pace Maker says:

    Actually, I think that that’s just marriage.

  3. leeezo99 says:

    love is just a projected statement of what we as people would like it to be, when in essence its just a synonym for acceptance or contentment with what one has… whether it be a life partner or a goal, all the same to me, tomato-potato…

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